There ya go...

Wow...that was fast

2007-01-10T09:52:00.000-08:00

So I guess it's 2007. Uhm I guess writing in my blog is not the most important thing in the world...Boy do I have a lot to catch up on.

Maybe this year will be different...I'm not holding my breath.

Winter Blues

2006-03-31T06:36:00.000-08:00

Apparently, I don't write at all during the winter. In fact I think I just hibernate from everything but getting fat and watching TV. Ahhhh fat TV.

I'm gonna have to start slow...I don't wanna pull a finger muscle or anything. Whew...I'm tired

Love between Friends

2005-06-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

I know, I know it's been a long time since I put anything in here...not that anyone is listening...except you Christian. Things have been hectic.

I thought this was funny...here are some emails between myself and two college buddies...guys are so nice to each other.

Hello....are you there?? You write sooooo often, sooooo very polite!!!
What the hell is going on, are you guys pregnant yet (and no, you simply being a fat slob doesn't qualify).
Who won the SB this year, oh never mind, I just remembered it was the Pats.....again.
How is the job going?
How do you like living in your new mansion richio. "Look at me in my big fancy house, it's so big and fancy, l have so many fancy rooms to litter with Whopper wrappers, I'm so special"
Just seeing if you're alive and getting fatter, I mean well.

The Crip!

-Response-

You know the funny thing is that I was thinking about you too fat bastards just yesterday. I miss our group lovemaking sessions, and the way Johnson used to get jealous when Andrew and I left you out.

I'm good, just enjoying my pre-kids life. We are looking to start the familia around the fall, so if you guys want a chance to be the father, you'll have to schedule to take a trip down around then.

And as for not writing, I just figured that Mr. "ohhh look at me, I've won two Super Bowls in a row...love me, want me, need me...." wouldn't talk to losers like me. Although, this IS my year, and J.P. will be taking us to the promised land!!!!!!! (Where's K.C.? Their defense is soooooo good!!!).

The job is going ok, but I need to make some more money. I saw an add in the paper for a new Chicken, Rib joint where fat people strip for money. I'm going to see if I can get in.

How are my women? How's Jo? How's Roxanne? How's my love child Brydon?

As for the house, it's good. We are still trying to get the smell out of the guest room since you slept there, and the cleaners say it will be another 6 mths before it's completely gone. I was finally able to afford to buy another bag of Crispers after Andrew raided my cupboards....

How are you guys doing? Strangely enough, I miss you guys. We have to get together soon.....let's make some plans!!!

-Response-

You guys should come down for a weekend and we could do some golfing, I'm sure your natural ability has progressed your game to the point where you could give your cous Tiger a serious run for his money.
I'm thinking of buying a used Jetta and I'm curious if Carm has had problems with hers, besides getting your order from Mcpigs in the relatively small back seat.
Brydon is doing well and he misses his daddy, so you best be coming down quick. Jo has had a couple of miscarriages in the past few months (the most recent last Sunday), so she is pretty down. I don't know if we will try again or not, maybe it's a sign, who knows.
I hope that Waffle house does hire you to dance, I would pay to see your grotesque BBQ covered figure gyrating about.
I can't believe you still remember the Crispers, well actually I can you obese slob, let it go, there $2.49 a bag.
How is your schedule, lets hook something up.

The Crip

-Response to Email 2-

I was planning on coming up for a visit, but the doctors said that with my
extra chubness I'm going to need a wheelchair just to move from my bed.
Also I think that Johnson might be a bit old to make the trip now. You
know he gets those headaches from the excitment and can;t go to stags.
Well Roxanne is no longer in the picture. After she met you and Johnson
she had to "re-think" our relationship. You know it's the whole know your
man through his friends thing...what can I say you guys are always bringing
me down...well except Richards...so It's just you Johnson...you down
bringer.
I'm telling you...enjoy the no kids life!! Now that Brydon is in the
picture...er I mean Steffen. Life is tough.
You should try to get into GD...I know that would mean leaving your house
and wife and her bacon winning job...but enh? who cares Johnson'll take
care of you and all your rolls.
I hope all is well with you and Carm (tell her I didn't forget our date)
unlike it is with your Bills. Kansas city is just playing Possum. They
are lulling other teams into THINKING their defence is bad...then in like
60 years BAM! They'll win a game! It's a pretty good strategy...kinda
like the one Mike Weir has been trying as of late...
Bite me,
Andrew

It's funny how life can pick you up...

2005-05-11T04:39:00.000-07:00

...dust you off and then kick you in the balls. It seems that a lot has been going pretty well in my life lately (knock on cyber-wood). Actually it seems that my family, who has had a rough go of it for the last little while, was just getting over that hump. Things were really starting to look positive. I should have known better...

...I got a message from my Dad last night that sounded serious. So I called, thinking that perhaps my Grandmother had gotten sick. Anyway, not to drag it out and add suspense to the story...I found out my father was diagnosed with Cancer. Wow, that's a weird thing to hear. Not that I don't know it's all over the place but when it hit you in your family...it's a shock to say the least.

He was diagnosed with Bowel Cancer..it sounds bad but, apparently it's one of the more operable types of Cancer and it was detected pretty early...so that good...right?

I think the worst thing is the feeling of not knowing what could happen. I hate the thought of my Dad being scared...he's really quite calm about it but you know he's got to be a bit nervous.

What do you say to your Dad to make him feel safe? How do you comfort the man who raised you? I guess I can just do what he would do...I'm sure he'd be happy to see that he's made a good impression...hell if I was half the man he is I'd be a great man.

Okay...

2005-05-06T08:21:00.000-07:00

Drinking on a week night is not a good idea...blah.

How good is “God of War”?

2005-04-26T08:10:00.000-07:00

I am an XBOX owner and I have to say I love my XBOX…yes I do kiss it and call it George. However, I nearly converted to the PS2 team this weekend…and just for one game. God of War! I know I cheated, but she won’t know…it’s not like I love PS2 now…I just love the game. So really is THAT cheating? They don’t offer this game for XBOX…stupid Sony. It’s not like I’m leaving my X…whatever it’s called…it was just one night it meant nothing…but boy was it good.

Yeah...

2005-04-19T11:39:00.000-07:00

It's Tuesday. I've been bugged about not updating my blog enough. Not by someone who is reading it...just by someguy at work who I told I started a blog and now he bugs me that I've started something and lost interest.

I'm drunk

You gotta love Canada...

2005-04-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

...and man do we love our beer!

Starting Victoria day weekend, that's May 24th weekend to all you Americans, select beer stores across the province of Ontario are opening their new drive thru windows. Yes, you read that correctly...a beer drive thru. How great is that?! Now I don't even have to get of my car to drink! I love this country!

Look away...please don't recognize me!

2005-04-14T08:35:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while we are reminded how small this world is that we live in. Sometimes we hear stories of how that person you flipped off yesterday was related to 6 really huge guys or how that girl you shagged last night turns out to be your 2nd cousin. However, most of the time it’s little things like someone you are talking to went to school with a friend of yours or something simple. The most simple and common of all of these is the bump in. You know when you run into that person you know barely, or used to be friends with? That’s the bump in.

This is so completely awkward. I ran into my cousin’s ex-girlfriend yesterday. Now I know her from high school and they haven’t dated in like 8 years so it’s not one of those uncomfortable “Oh my God I hate your cousin so I can’t talk to you” moments…it’s worse. It’s that “hey I see you, I know you, and I had better stop or it’s going to seem rude” moments. The one that always starts out with a big smile and a recognition then quickly takes a dive bomb into the realm of, I really don’ have anything to talk about with you.

Man I felt like an idiot. I’m like “hey! I thought it was you…” held out my hand for a shake, while it looked like she was going to hug. The handshake was pathetic, but I don’t really know her…I haven’t seen her in years. So of course she asks how my cousin is…I’m like…”uhm what am I his nurse?” Okay I didn’t say that…I was nice.

Is it better to pretend not to see these people? You’re staring at them already to see if it IS really them so you’re gonna get caught.
We need to come up with some way of politely saying to these half-acquaintances “Hey, I know you enough to spot you across the room. And it’s neat that we are at the same place…but I don’t know you enough to stop and try and fight through small talk, soooo…goodbye.”

Golf-ie Time

2005-04-13T07:43:00.000-07:00

Well the terrible Canadian weather is finally starting to make way for spring...ahhh loverly spring, the best 9 minutes in the Canadian seasons. The flowers are starting to bloom, the birds are singing, and of course the golf courses are starting to open.

What is it about this sport that makes normal people insane? This has to be the most expensive sport next to skydiving...and that's if you buy the plane. Millions of idiots run out and spend large amounts of their hard earned money to swing a stick at a ball and swear in public. This "sport" has the ability to make the most calm person freak out.

Now I have to admit, I am one of those idiots. I was bitten by the bug last year and I find myself chomping at the bit to get out there again. I think the only thing that is going to keep me calm this year is to remember this little saying " I am not good enough to get mad." Repeat after me "I am not good enough to get mad." Then quietly under your breath swear and make plans to burn down the nearest golf course.

Stupid Tiger Woods..thinks he's so big

Oh hi there

2005-03-24T04:56:00.000-08:00

I’m currently reading The Da Vinci Code…and yes I know half the world has read it. All I have to say is man is this ever an interesting read! I am burning through this book. Normally I’m a pretty methodical reader (in other words I’m slow and like to act out the sections in my mind…and make sound effects sometimes…I’m 4) but this one I just can’t stop reading on and on and on. This Dan Brown character sure has done his homework. I love books like that…no time to talk…must return to book.

Aaaannd it's back.

2005-03-24T04:31:00.000-08:00

Stupid Winter. You always have to have the last word don'tchya? Listen Jack Frost you are cutting into our beautiful 2 weeks of spring we enjoy up here in Canada...we like our 2 week's jack, now bugger off.

A message brought to you by crazy scream at the weather guy.

SPRING! ...finally

2005-03-22T10:07:00.000-08:00

Yeay!

Spring is here. I can't believe how much just the change of a calendar day can make you feel better. Of course the fact that the sun has decided to make an appearance makes things a bit nicer. I have been bitten by the golf bug already...I mean I haven't even put the skis away and I'm dusting off the clubs...okay, I don't have skis...okay...I don't golf either...leave me alone

What ever happened to Y2K?

2005-02-28T10:58:00.000-08:00

"Why does this applied science, which saves work and makes life easier, bring us so little happiness? The simple answer runs: Because we have not yet learned to make sensible use of it."

"Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal."

- Albert Einstein

I’m sure we can all remember things that happened to us five years ago, well maybe not what we ate for dinner on December 16th but, the major events of the year should still be pretty fresh in our minds. This sounds like a logical request: Tell me one major thing from 1999…and no partying like it’s… is not a good answer. It’s funny how short the human memory can be. Just over five years ago the acronym Y2K was everywhere. It was going to be the end of the world as we know it and now…nothing.

I know that the Y2K bug or curse never happened, it was a complete bust. (Maybe that’s why we’ve brushed it under technology’s giant rug.) During the closing of 1999 people were in a panic, with technology and lack of foresight to blame. For one of the first times in my life technology as whole was being questioned by the masses. People were turning their backs to the once welcoming arms of the tech-world, giving a second thought to how much they were depending on technology in everyday life. Then a miracle occurred, nothing happened. There was no global shut down. So what did we do now that we were spared from the electronic meltdown? We got pissed on New Year’s, fought through our hangovers, hopped back on our tech-horses, and just kept on riding. We must have had way too much to drink that night, cause it seems we drank away all of our fears and concerns.

So here we are it’s 2005 and the furthest thing from our minds is worrying that we are depending too much on technology. We want it faster, smaller, and less to do with human contact than ever. Our faith in technology never failed, it may have wavered for a minute, but no way will we ever give it up. They say that hindsight is 20/20, but who’s looking back? We’ve constructed a lifestyle that depends so much on technology that our biggest concern we have with our new systems is the ‘human factor’ or human error.

“We’ve got the best traffic control system in the world, but we can’t count out human error…”
The big mistakes or problems we have with our systems is the humans running them or running inside them. This seems a bit odd to me. We build systems for humans, by humans, but we can’t trust the humans to operate them? We lack trust in our own intelligence to perform simple, menial tasks, however we trust the people who designed these complex systems? Don’t get me wrong, I’m the first to point out that there are a lot of idiots out there, but should we be taking away the need for skilled people? Should we constantly be replacing humans with machines? Sure we’ll train new people to run the machines, but what happens if the machines go down? I mean all of the machines…or let’s say we lose power. Now we’re left with a society filled with people that can type 150 words a minute, but no one who can build a typewriter. If we can’t trust humans, who or what are supposed to look to…monkeys?

I’m not predicting the apocalypse or even the death of your batteries on your palm pilot. In fact I love technology, I sometimes wish we had more. But when I sit back and think about it, it seems that technology’s kung-fu grip has got us tighter than ever. Think about your everyday life, how much do you do without using electronics, computers, or even a remote? Try to imagine what it would take to make it though your day without it…or how long it would take. It’s scary to think the amount of control that technology can have over us, and most of the time without our knowledge. I’m not saying technology is evil however, the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was to make the world think she didn’t exist.

Feb. 15th

2005-02-15T19:58:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the divorce lawyer's busiest day of the year....

..I guess those flowers would have been a good idea after all...

Gwen Stefani is this generation's Cyndi Lauper

2005-02-09T13:36:00.000-08:00

...I really gotta get some pictures or something to back up these ridiculous claims...

China might have the right idea...or they are evil and disgusting

2005-02-08T10:44:00.000-08:00

According to this article China is performing miracles for patients with ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease. The surgeon injects the patient with cells taken from an aborted fetus to halt the deterioration process that ALS has on its victims.

...oh wait...back up a minute...aborted fetus you say?

Yes...I do say.

Stem cell research of this kind is against the law in Canada and the US, but it is completely acceptable in China. I guess it comes down to a question of morality. Is it okay to use the cells of unborn children to possibly save someone's life? This is not an easy question to answer...but think about it. In China there is a one child limit and even if we don't want to admit it or pretend it doesn't happen, abortions are happening. They will continue happening. Is it wrong to use the cells from discarded tissue to save human lives? Regardless of where it came from? If the research could help your child, friend, or lover what would you think then? What if it was you?

For more information on ALS click here:
http://als.ca

For the article mentioned above:
http://www.pressargus.com/articles/2005/02/05/news/news01.txt

Is it better to die or fade away?

2005-02-07T08:27:00.000-08:00

So like millions of people I watched the Superbowl last night...congrats Patriots. So being from Canada and too lazy to go to a bar, I didn't get to see the great new commercials. In lieu of super expensive ad spots I thought that seeing Paul McCartney at the half time show would make up for it. What was I thinking?

Now, I don't know if they were trying to keep things really family friendly...to avoid last year's fiasco, but ugh was that boring. I'm sorry but I started to channel surf while one of the beatles, the most influencial band ever, was singing some classics. So this got me to thinking...is Paul ruining his rep as one of the best singer/songwriters to ever live?

We can all say that the Beatles were one of the best bands to ever produce a vinyl. In fact I was protecting Paul just minutes before the halftime show, talking about how talented the guy is. But after seeing the show I couldn't help but think he was just looking like a BTO reunion. One of those guys who is living off of his past achievements..no matter how spectacular they were.

When you think of the Beatles, individually not as a group, you've got John, Paul, George, and Ringo.

John: Musical Genius, would have changed the face of music for years to come...if he wasn't killed.
George: Innovative guitarist, humanitarian, loved by all
Ringo: ...uhm well he was a Beatle...and wasn't he on that show with that train?
Paul: Knighted, in two number one bands, hasn't written anything in decades

I guess it isn't fair to say that Paul and Ringo's contribution to the world of music was any less than any of the other Beatles (well okay Ringo didn't do too much). It just begs the question: Would it better to die a Beatle or be a former Beatle with nothing left. It's a tough choice aside from the whole dying part...cause that probably sucks.

Society doesn't always commend you for what you did 20 years ago...but they'll be quick to ask where are you now or Paul "What have you done for me lately?"

First Day of Bloggin'

2005-02-04T14:46:00.000-08:00

There is a moment in your life that you realize that you are not meant for greatness. That one instant that you know you aren’t going to be a movie star, a rock god, or even have that job you dreamed of as a child. Your delusions of grandeur fizzle out and are replaced with reality, this reality, your reality.

Ideals are broken apart and you’re left with opinions. You have accepted the hand that life has dealt you without a fight or a scream. You just wake up in this older body and the dreams you had for it are gone. That feeling of being special is replaced with a feeling of angst and bitterness against the world for not seeing you as you thought you should have been seen. Dreams of riches have been replaced with thoughts of bills and debts and timelines. Your childhood is gone.

It can happen at a different time for everyone.

Mine is happening right now.
I’m 31 years old...and I just started a blog.